On December 17, Ben’s birthday, I found this quote. Cami was here visiting. I read it to her and her response was the same as mine….”It says it all….” I typed it up and printed it on fancy paper. It hangs on the wall amongst Ben’s pictures. I could ramble, as I always do, as I try to explain my feelings to others. I do indeed have so much to be thankful for, and I really do know that with every breath of my being, but I hope these few words will help others understand the depth of my pain and the feuding that occurs within as I take each breath: I am so very, very happy and grateful for who I have, while simultaneously so desperately sad and heart-broken because of who I don’t have with me……Ben.
………………
AND CAN IT BE, IN A WORLD SO FULL AND BUSY, THE LOSS OF ONE CREATURE MAKES A VOID SO WIDE AND DEEP THAT NOTHING BUT THE WIDTH AND DEPTH OF ETERNITY CAN FILL IT UP? Charles Dickens
These few words speak volumes.
Soul Searching Solace 
So true…Such a huge void…Nothing here on earth can fill it…
I’d like to add this quote, which was posted on http://lensgirl53.wordpress.com/ “I love the boy with the utmost love of which my soul is capable, and he is taken from me….yet, in the agony of my spirit in surrendering such a treasure, I feel a thousand times richer than if I had never possessed it.” William Wordsworth 1812
You know how sorry I am for your loss; thank you for finding me.
Thank you, Denise. I am glad I found you, as well. Thank you for the beautiful, meaningful quote.